If wizard paintings are able to jump from portrait frame to portrait frame, listening to private conversations, and reporting them elsewhere, why — for the love of Merlin — would anyone have one in their home or office?


Do people shout at portraits as a convenience? “Dumbledore, what's 1 quart converted to cups?” “Snape, set the living room lights to 50%.” “Phineas, reorder trash bags.”

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@BrianEnigma I have spent way too much time over the years trying to figure out how those fucks work and the answer is: they don’t.

@courtney Yeah, it feels like it wouldn’t scale if there’s one Dumbledore who has to float between all his painting frames and chocolate frog trading cards and such. At least the newspaper photos don’t seem sentient.

@BrianEnigma also, how do they...make them? Is it their soul?? How do they decide what age to paint people? How do fictional characters that are painted still have so much personality?

@courtney Well crud. I'd never even _considered_ the creation and [mass?] production of the things. Now you have me wondering.

@BrianEnigma @courtney I like to think that the more time and effort put in to the creation, the more realistic a depiction. So maybe there are only a few Dumbledores of sufficient quality to recreate a likeness of him that appears close to sentient. But that doesn't answer oh so many questions still... I want a history book just about magical portraiture!

@BrianEnigma one time a roommate and I sat through a 3 hour blackout in the living room discussing how fucked up the portraits are until the TV came back on and we decided to never think about it again.

omg can I write about this in my newsletter? credited/anon? @BrianEnigma

@Danhon Please do, if it fits. (I've been enjoying your newsletters!) Credit or link to source is fine; I don't feel I need to hide under anon and my toots are public anyway. (But thanks for asking.)


Well I just had the 1:30pm rundown meeting with myself and you’re the second item on tonight’s episode right now!


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