Today's out-of-context closed caption: “Sweet Smell are always trying to get married, but one of the guests keeps on sneezing so much they can never get through the ceremony.”

On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to recommend NPS to colleagues, friends, and family?

It’s now Black History Month, and apparently we’re celebrating by turning the clocks back a hundred years.

🎼 Well, give your ID card to the border guard
Yeah, your alias says you're Captain Jean-Luc Picard
Of the United Federation Of Planets
'Cause he won't speak English anyway
And everybody knows
That the world is full of stupid people🎵

“I can see all lobstacles in my way.” 🦞

Wearing my Tube socks and hoping everyone has a “happy” brexit!

I rolled a d12 before being served my drink and this is what I received.

I’m glad our company finally switched to Yubikey. The number of times I typed in upside-down numbers or did a dyslexic swap is uncountable.

I found what appears to be an old nest deep inside the Christmas tree as I was cutting it up.

These are not pencil-toppers. Are they pencil-bottomers?

Given the amount of peanuts and dried ears of corn I go through, I feel like this house is the bird equivalent of the one that gives out full-size candy bars on Halloween.

Rewatching Twin Peaks S03E08, or as I like to call it, the Nine Inch Nails video that turns into a feature-length 2001 end sequence.

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