one time I was at the dentist and the assistant asked—apropos of nothing—"you got a dog?" and I was afraid that somehow my mouth smelled like a dog owner's mouth even though the answer was no

it turns out that she was going to warn me that dogs like to chew up night guards for some reason so I should be careful about that


@danbruno adding "dentist looks me up and down and asks if i have a dog" to my list of fears

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