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one time I was at the dentist and the assistant asked—apropos of nothing—"you got a dog?" and I was afraid that somehow my mouth smelled like a dog owner's mouth even though the answer was no

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it turns out that she was going to warn me that dogs like to chew up night guards for some reason so I should be careful about that

@danbruno adding "dentist looks me up and down and asks if i have a dog" to my list of fears

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