honestly the fact that it takes so much goddamn work and emotional effort just to get referred for a GRS _consult_, much less the surgery itself, is a form of violence that the medical establishment employs against trans people

(onemedical somehow lost the referral that was sent 10 days ago by a PhD, the third referral I had to get before my doctor would even set a date for the consultation)

god I hate how the only way I can deal with this is just saying "okay, thanks for trying your best" and moving on

I'm so angry and that anger doesn't have anywhere to go, so it just solidifies into sadness and this is what it's like being trans sometimes

@esten also the fact that nearly everyone in the process could gatekeep you if they felt the urge :|

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