I spent my 4/20 syncing up Fast and Furious movies to Beatles albums

what is it about online that makes a regular nerd read an okay joke and start speaking like a medieval shopkeeper

When I have to make a difficult decision, I always find it coming down to one simple question: Is it, or is it not, numberwang?

All I want in a macbook pro is to be able to wake it from sleep with an external keyboard when it's closed and plugged into an external monitor. I don't care if it has a touchbar or a keyboard made out of nails

The meetings aren’t gonna meet themselves

Really glad I pushed through my exhaustion and went climbing with coworkers today. Made a pretty hard day a good one!

How much do I have to pay spotify per month for them to remember my repeat/shuffle settings

I’m in a Lyft and the driver is trying to pick between playing the Tim Ferriss podcast and the Joe Rogan podcast and I’m taking a Lyft to soma on the weekend so this is what I deserve.

TIL you can’t leave a group iMessage if it’s just 3 people come ooooonn apple I wanna be dramatic 😅

Around when we started dating Kate greeted me one morning with "Night Time 2 : this time it's Daytime" and I think about it literally every day

I can't believe I can still be surprised about the shitty things facebook is willing to do eff.org/deeplinks/2019/04/face . It's so upsetting how easily they can find engineers that aren't morally opposed to implementing this garbage

Oh hell yes, I've missed Starlee Kine ever since Mystery Show (and Election Profit Makers) ended. patreon.com/starleekine/overvi

My manic period has ended. I have passed the test. I will diminish… and go into the west

busty MILFs... in MY area?

[grabbing my phone and dialing Robbie "Breakbones" O'Reilly]

if it's a turf war the MILFs want.. it's a turf war they'll get

life lessons I've learned from baba is you:

- if something is in the corner, you can never move it
- when in doubt, become multiple people
- you can phase through things unless it specifically tells you that you cannot
- never trust a skull
- thinking outside the box isn't enough; you must completely disavow the existence of a box

Didn’t get enough sleep, have been around people way more than normal for my introverted self, but I feel great and have a lot of energy this morning. At least I know the signs of a manic period, hold on to your butts folks 🚀

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